We have tried for months to get appropriate support from the bio dad of my girl friend’s kids. Yesterday, we got some great news. This will end soon. He will pay, or he will pay more so why he still thinks it’s a negotiation is beyond me. She made him an offer yesterday, he did not appear interested. Today, the one daughter and bio himself called or texted half the day. I unblocked my twitter. Less than 12 hours later, they are all over it. And I have an issue? Whatever! I am tweeting and blogging for me. I am so excited that this is ending! I tried to help her get support, but you just can’t work with the guy. No matter what, he opposes.
The things many of you know about a narcissist are all pretty new to me. He cannot stand the idea that somebody would put their opinions on the internet. Dude, the Internet was created to express ideas, not watch YouTube. He also feels that if he ignores the support issue, it will go away. When he cannot get his ex on the phone, he explodes. He gets the older daughters involved, but now they are so well-trained, they look for my twitter on their own and then text mom to say dad has primary residence. She openly admits to reading my blog and twitter, but I did something wrong? What kind of normal relationship has an 18-year-old quoting terms from family law?
Bio tried to get my partner on the phone. She was working. Dealing with texts from the daughter. Bio can’t get through so he contacts the sister of my girlfriend. She tried to help negotiate. I bet she is sorry she did. I am very thankful that she tried, but the only way to negotiate with a narcissist is to break their control. See how tough it is?
The boy turned 15 yesterday. He told me how his dad forced him to look at all the emails between the sister, his mom and his dad. The boy already has issues and he gets sucked into that? I cannot believe it, but look at the reaction of the older 2 for the last 4 years. When I hear that, it all makes sense. They have all been taught to act in a certain way. It is their reality.
It is hard on my partner, but she has come to expect it. She saw what I posted. All the offers are coming off the table. She will collect off the original agreement. The ex and daughters will freak. They will get the rest of the family involved. They will treat us like we did something wrong. They probably will shun us for a while. The usual tactics, sad but true.
Her family has never attempted to get to know me. They think we had an affair. Now we are living in sin. I don’t believe in god at all, so I am already slated for the fiery depths of hell, but I never had an affair. Her husband was long gone before we had our first date. The dude lived in the basement over 2 years before they split anyway.
To dispel all the myths, we met the first time when I was 16. I worked at Burger King and this cute, preppy girl who was 2 years older was a cashier. At that age, 2 years is so much. We continued to live in the same small city. We know tons of the same people! We became friends through a mutual friend on Facebook. I saw through her posts that she was getting a divorce. I guess I just had to wait 20 years to get noticed! I almost didn’t ask her out because she has the same name as my ex-wife! Turns out, I was meant to be with somebody with that name, I just needed to find the right one! I did.
We talked a bit, I got the nerve to ask her out. She was so different then the other women I had dated. We had so much in common that we knew on that very first date at Starbucks, that we would have another. We did, the next day. Several coffees later, it turned into a real relationship. We are in love and no outside force will change that. We are good for each other. If her dickhead ex would just stop, we wouldn’t need to live in sin but either way, I am here for good. We will also survive with or without support, but I prefer with. I support the kids I created, financially, emotionally and intellectually.
Anybody that has read my blog, knows that we have had huge issues with my girlfriend’s narcissistic ex! So many, that I haven’t even had the time to blog. Here is the latest update though.
We prepared an application for family court. We also did a Notice of motion. I was not sure which one would work until I saw the court file. Since I am not a lawyer, I had to attend with my partner. Once we opened the file, everything that has happened is all there. All the court docs from last time.
Well at the end of court last time, both parties mutually withdrew. All orders made, died with the case. All that stuff is there, but has no bearing on the case now. So the only thing still valid is the original agreement from 2009 when she had all the kids. He also made lots of money then. Since the parties withdrew, that is the only thing that could be acted on. The lady at the counter is like, “You can file if you want, but why wouldn’t you have this enforced??” Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…I had to sit down for a while! He passed on all offers and we made lots. Now we can give half to the maternal grandparents to support the other 2. What a great day! All that stress and bullshit and we already own his balls. Plus arrears? Negotiations are done. Yes I will make a good union president!
We told him to settle. We tried since September. He doesn’t have to settle now. We have everything we want. Once FRO kicks in, We will get more than 3 times what our last offer was. And the guy still wants to negotiate!! Well, fuck him. Play time is over. I really tried to be nice and you just won’t let me. Back to Forrest, “stupid is as stupid does”.
On that note, time to have a celebratory drink! Thanks for your support guys. It means so much!
I was nominated for an award by kindredspirit23 and would like to say “thank you very much”!
The stipulations was that I need to:
1) tell something about myself
2) nominate somebody else
So, something about myself. I am an avid hiker. I am never happier then when I’m off in the woods doing a hike off the beaten track. We have recently started practicing survival skills like building a fire from gathered materials. No accelerants or lighters! I love the feeling of accomplishment.
I would like to nominate:
The expression through poetry and images is touching and emotionally moving.
Thanks to Scott for his nomination. Have a great day everybody.